Indeed, we have moved, the entire family. We are now based in a new country: England, in a small house in Milton Keynes where the Open University is. I will be making a PhD at the Geography discipline of the Faculty of Social Sciences here for the coming 3 years or so.
It still feels surprising for us, although we have been thinking and preparing already for months. We made a deliberate decision with Emese to move out - both of us felt that we need to move on from Hungary. Without this support from Emese I would not have been able to leave Budapest and do this PhD.
It was a difficult decision to make. Life had turned out quite comfortable in Budapest lately. We love our new flat in the feet of the Buda Castle which we just renovated. Maia was attending a nursery, just 10 minutes walk from home up the hill, and everything was within reach, and affordable. And, with Ivan's arrival, it was not easy to think of leaving all this behind.
But we were both committed to make a change, and eager to try something new. It is a matter of how you feel, I guess: whether you have reached a place in your life where you want to stay, or you fancy seeing more new things. And, as said earlier, it is a common decision to be made within the family.
We thought we'd better do it now, before our children are in school age, which would make future relocations even more difficult. And, on the positive side, they shall learn proper English.
There were some other important factors that made the change possible. First, the opportunity for me to undertake doctoral research at the Open University, in the field in which I am interested and have spent over 10 years working in: media and environment. I knew one of my supervisors-to-be since 2000 - Dr Joe Smith, and had established a good personal and professional relationship with him. The Open University offered me a paid studentship - which provides us with a narrow but solid financial basis for the first year, when Emese will be staying home with Ivan.
Further, Emese's job allows her to transfer to a job in the UK - either within the same company, or with a different one. So we are not exactly jumping into the unknown, in financial and job terms. The university policy also allows me to work for about 6 hours a week: a chance for me to make some extra money on top of the studentship. My previous experience gives me enough confidence that I will be able to use this opportunity.
Not least, during my 4 days visit to Milton Keynes in the summer I was lucky to get in touch with a fellow Bulgarian, Antoan, who was looking to rent his house, in the close distance of the university. Untypical for the UK, his house is furnished, so all we needed to do was sit on a plane with Emese and the two kids and arrive here on October 1 when the school year opened. The rest of our luggage followed, transported by a small non-expensive company which Emese had discovered in the Express newspaper.
Having written all that, the entire move involved a lot of stress and inconvenience. We were very worried how Maia would take the departure from the nursery and the other kids she was used to play with in Buda. We were relieved to see that she actually did not mind the change much, as she was happy to spend her days with Emese and myself. And obviously change does not disturb her too much - she is our daughter after all
A final point: the major load and pressure, caused by this relocation, was on Emese. Just days after giving birth she was running around and making phone calls to arrange things and papers. Then she did a major part of the packing. Here in the UK she is with the two kids in a new environment, when we still have to learn and arrange many things.
Now that it is all done, I feel very good about the entire thing. I would encourage anyone who hesitates to try it. It is fun, energising, and feels like we are doing something good together - a very reinforcing feeling for a relationship